Ive said it before, and I’ll say it again. I struggled for SO long being an introvert. Theres times where my heart looks at it’s reflection, compares it to others and wonders why there are few foils anywhere to be found. I may wander this world forever, and never realize why that happens. Am I supposed to get? am I supposed to be gotten? who knows. Sometimes being in the rooms I find myself in is like being in a movie, wondering whats comming next, and if I am living a life thats dramatically ironic. That the risk I take to be who God made me to be, is actually backfiring. How rediculous. Especially when everyone hated when I tried to fit in. Its not fair that we are supposed to simotaneously fill a mold, and break it. How graceful it is when we recognize how to do this.
When I say It’s a risky thing to be who you truely want to be, I mean it. Its a risk most people never take. The only problem going your own way sometimes, is that its yours. Sometimes theres people on your path, but they’re separated by infinite seas of air and expirience.
I’m not claiming to be a rebel, a nonconformist, or the like. Its satisfying though, to have your own way of doing things. With music for example, my passion for it is so intense that you’d swear at times seeps into every cell in my body, and it does. If people wonder why I smile all the time, its because my heart is a series of beats and sounds from God arranged in a larger composition that I hear in love everywhere I go. When I share my heart, I’m sharing music. and when I share music I share my heart. The best thing about giving your heart out freely is that it touches people, and helps fix the broken when God wants it to. Its like this with any passion. Whatever it may be. Wear it and wear it well at any cost. Passion breaks the confines of personality and uses you to create deep, effective and positive change in people’s hearts. I cant afford to be shallow, I’d be missing too much.
So after years of hating it, I confess…
I love being introverted. I wouldn’t know what passion could do for me any other way.