This is a story…

I’m Meghan and I post things that my quirky 21 year old heart’s into. (This is my blog)

The results of a broken world. May 18, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — magneggy @ 2:57 pm
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Its a story. Its the story of millions world wide, its the story of one person. Each story important, each a heavy yoke to carry alone. Its depression. I had depression, I have depression. I dont say this lightly or for attention, but for transparency’s sake. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault. While recently comming to this realization, my heart began to shake at its inner core with the need to tell my story. To use love as THE tool, to make it tangible, to make availible to the hopeless. 

To expose my brokeness. 

Like crystal our brokeness is beautiful but made of something deadly. We choose to drink water from it, to create beautiful sounds or to ignore it all together out of fear of the deadly unknown. Drinking the water is the necessity for life, for repair. We will surely die without it.


Its a story of people not wanting to get up in the morning, its a story of insomnia and oversleeping, its the story of chronic lonliness. Its more than a bad day, or a mood…its a disposition, the physical feeling of heartache, and body ache, that takes people away to dark places, that lies to them, that harms them. 

Its a story of a physical presence of someone, and the abscence of their sparkling personalities. Its helpless loved ones, watching souls withdraw. Its epic disruptions in relationships, anger, and substitution for the pain. Its children, its parents, sisters, teachers, best friends, brothers, girlfriends, enemies, waiters, crushes, and gas station attendents. Sometimes its unexplainable, sometimes theres a trigger…but it always developes into a wound that only Jesus can heal. As Christ’s ambassadors we’re meant to delve into these rough situations, becoming vunerable revealing our brokeness, offering hope through our testimonies. 

God is love, and love is what is needed. 


Stats stolen from

-121 million people worldwide suffer from depression. (The World Health Organization)

 -18 million of these cases are happening in the United States. (The National Institute of Mental Health)

 -Between 20% and 50% of children and teens struggling with depression have a family history of this struggle and the offspring of depressed parents are more than three times as likely to suffer from depression. (U.S. Surgeon General’s Survey, 1999)

 -Depression often co-occurs with anxiety disorders and substance abuse, with 30 percent of teens with depression also developing a substance abuse problem.   (NIMH)

 -2/3 of those suffering from depression never seek treatment.

Untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide, and suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers. (NIMH)        


 We were meant to love feircely, we were meant to attack these issues. This is a spiritual pit that is HUGE, but not insurmountable.

The victory is already ours.

   The enemy has been defeated.

  Death wont hold us down.

If you think you know anyone who may be affected talk to them about it rather then just misunderstanding them. Empathy is a terrific tool. Its bigger than we can handle though.

                      I will not be silent anymore. 

A peace and love that surpasses all understanding is God’s gift to freely give to 121 million world wide who desperately need it. Share it, live it.





Protected: Loosing sleep with CS Lewis. May 16, 2009

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:Love: February 17, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — magneggy @ 4:27 pm

We’ve put hope into the sky, only to see it crumble. SO many times have I seen my life disolve into peices, and this too shall pass is never the right thing to hear. People have injured me to what I thought was beyond repair, and I’ve been so good at seething in old and new wounds. I want to be a victim, I starve for the attention of a good pitfall. I hunger for perfecting my ability to pretend everything is okay when its not. Oh, believe me am I ever good at lying about my condition. 

Theres hope though, and I wont be like this any more. Just know that there is a better way than idle words to be shouted out of your mouth. More than a pressure valve, more than a hollow vessel for communication…words were meant to please thei soul. And I am confident in this, if nothing else, words, the Word, has saved my soul from death. I’ve died only in good ways, because love loved me too much to stay the stupid way I am. And its nobody’s fault that for who I am, my parents did an amazing job, but they could never keep me from sinning. I could never keep me from sinning. I’ve tried faith in everything, and found nothing until falling in Love.

For all the boys I’ve put my faith into, and all the love and mercy I’ve wagered with my own gods for…this is your mermorial. I wanted you to get me, I wanted to be “good”, I wanted to fit in…and now I do. An earnest and discerning mind who gets the messed up things in my life, at the same time as the big picture and how I fit into it loves me.

Without all this damage, all the ways that I’ve screwed up, all the people who have been hurt, I would not be able to do this. While I am sincerely sorry… I am so thankful…because the more broken I am the more I can be used.

I am so in love, with the one that loved me first.